Jonathan Moyo has Hollywood talent

Witwatersrand University and Ford Foundation fraudster who has been a fugitive from justice for more than a decade, was among the first to fire the salvo. 

Sensing danger, George Charamba, played the fire-fighter but not before the careless, moronic and opportunistic professor’s comments had reached the ears of those who matter. There are times when Jonathan Moyo talks like a comical lunatic speaking from the depth of a bunker in Tripoli or Ivory Coast. This was one such moment.

Calling SADC, AU and president Zuma all sorts of names including Judas Iscariot was the height of madness and political suicide. This is the same man who used to fervently support the notion of quiet diplomacy and African solution to African problems when it worked in ZANU PF’s favour. Today, he stands for the opposite. Those who give a toss about international relations were baffled by such self-destructive innuendos which shall always influence SADC in its future dealings with Zimbabwe.

In his typical fashion, the nutty professor chided SADC leaders for delaying official deliberations of the summit to 8pm when Mugabe and his delegates had been waiting and waiting. He goes on to say the official session only took less than one hour. In his mind, Jonathan is totally convinced that SADC can only transact when Mugabe is in attendance and also that the length of the sessions should resonate with the amount of Gushungo’s waiting time, what a shame! Is he aware that Zimbabwe is not part of the Troika and that Mugabe did not convene the meeting? 

“Decisions were made without much dialogue, which is traditionally essential for the success of such summits” moans Goebbels.  What he seems to forget is that there is nothing happening in Zimbabwe that SADC is not aware of. The fact that the body has taken this long to flex its muscles is not a sign of gullibility. Rather, SADC leaders patiently and respectfully assumed that Mugabe and his party would one day stop acting like kids and start doing the right thing. Having realised that this was not to be, the only option was to crack the whip. It is now time for action, not rhetoric.

An outstanding aspect of Jonathan Moyo’s post-summit analysis was his reference to ZANU PF as Republic of Zimbabwe. For somebody believed to be a political science professor to fail to distinguish between a political party and the state is just pathetic. Unless he was just being mischievous, we feel sorry for those who used to regard him highly. 

The “predictably unpredictable” professor also attacks SADC for suggesting to constitute a team that will closely work with JOMIC in implementing the GPA. Two points need to be highlighted; it is SADC which created JOMIC, therefore, only SADC has the prerogative to review JOMIC’s mandate, restructure its composition or reinforce its operations. Such simple logic should be too obvious to a man with a Master of Public Administration. 

Nevertheless, he doesn’t stop wondering, “If there is resurgence of violence, why should there not be any arrests?” This is a question any sane citizen would have directed at the police commissioner not SADC. We hope Chihuri will find time to answer this question honestly and educate the professor on why perpetrators of violence are being protected while the victims are arrested.   

In a seemingly well-calculated attempt to inflict as much damage on ZANU PF by further insulting African institutions including SADC, Jonathan Moyo says that the African vote on UN Resolution 1973 together with the Livingstone Troika communiqué epitomise the work of puppets and sell-outs who should be abandoned by Zimbabwe as it turns to those friends who can provide weapons and military cooperation. There is no doubt that he was referring to China and North Korea. For some strange reason, he religiously believes that those who fought in the liberation war are all alive, well, unchanged and ready to be used. 

If anything, a good number of the ex-combatants have since moved on in terms of political affiliation and ideology while a lot more have passed on. Those still enjoying the gift of life are old, unwell or simply not willing to fight their own people as they strive to leave behind a positive legacy. Numerous defections in Egypt, Libya and Ivory Coast have obviously not provided any useful lesson to this weird professor. Those who shall be privileged enough to talk to Jonathan Moyo hiding in a deep bunker one day, may produce a movie that will make him a perfect candidate for Hollywood rather than the Hague.