For starters there is Zimbabwe’s attorney-general Johannes Tomana – who this week became the latest Mugabe ally to be slapped with sanctions and an asset freeze by the United States – who says that there will be a commission to investigate the "treasonous collusion" that led to several embarrassing reports being released by WikiLeaks.
He told the Zimbabwe African National Union – Patriotic Front leaning Herald : "With immediate effect, I am going to instruct a team of practicing lawyers to look into the issues that arise from the WikiLeaks.
"The WikiLeaks appear to show a treasonous collusion between local Zimbabweans and the aggressive international world, particularly the United States."
Tomana gives a whole new meaning to the concept of separation of powers.
No doubt as soon as the practicing lawyers find the "culprits" the office of the attorney-general will intervene to ensure that justice is done.
Somebody has to pay for costing the AG a bundle.
Of course his boss President Robert Mugabe will be seething after Wikileaks confirmed that he regards President Jacob Zuma as “man of the people who likes to make promises without necessarily knowing how to fulfill them” and former President Thabo Mbeki as a “great man” who is “judgmental and calculating and cautious with policies”.
Diplomatic speak for ‘unreliable populist’ (Zuma) and ‘judgmental, scheming, scaredy cat (Mbeki).
This was a source of no-little embarrassment to Mugabe and his inner circlein Harare.
Of course there were also those relating to the United Nations’ efforts to get Mugabe to stand down by offering him a retirement package and an exile deal and accusations that Mugabe’s wife, Grace, and Central Bank Governor Gideon Gono (please don’t tell anyone this must Gono further) were earning huge profits from illegal diamonds.
Grace was furious filing a lawsuit claiming 15 million dollars in damages from a local independent weekly that reproduced the WikiLeaks report.
You couldn’t make this up.
With elections not too far away there are going to be a whole smorgasbord of new and old characters from the Zimbabwean circus that really should not be missed.
Forget ‘Meeting the Fokkers IV’ and come down to Meet the Mugabes.
The Reality TV Show. – New Times