Apology to Mugabe

Someone must call the Sunday Times to order. What they did is wrong. It is all lies. The story about an affair between Zimbabwe’s central bank governor Gideon Gono and the president’s wife, Grace Mugabe, is a figment of the imagination. On behalf of the people of SA, I send my apologies to His Excellence, President Gabriel Robert Mugabe.

How could they print lies about Her Highness? It is the banality of jaundiced mass media spreading the propaganda of the imperialist forces. I hope the president will understand.

It is for the above reasons that all should support the calls made by our communist friends to introduce a media appeals tribunals. These journalists should be taught a lesson. It is a pity we can’t send them to the Gulags. Clearly they learnt nothing from journalist Mzilikazi waAfrika’s mistakes.

I promise you, Mr President, I will discuss this issue with my friends in Mpumalanga. Those comrades can make Table Mountain disappear.

Comrade Julius Malema will ensure this bloody agent masquerading as a journalist is deported back to Tony Blair’s Britain.

I wish Essop Pahad succeeded in closing down the Sunday Times.

Back to Mr Gono. Did he really try to nationalise the First Lady? If this is true, he is an infidel. How could he, after Robert Mugabe saved his butt from the Movement for Democratic Change vultures. Friends are not supposed to steal from friends. How can he cut off the hand that feeds him? Will Mr Mugabe redistribute his farm?

What about Mrs Mugabe ? Is it the end of her Sandton shopping sprees? Tragic indeed! She is a role model to our black economic empowerment crowd.

Since the Sunday Times story I sought solace on the arms of Andrea Bocelli’s The Prayer. It is an appropriate song for these difficult times.

Mr Mugabe, if you want to take a break from Zimbabwe, remember we have a professorship post for you at Thabo Mbeki ’s leadership academy.

Once again accept my apologies, Mr Mugabe. As we say “inxeba lendoda alihlekwa” (don’t kick a man whilst he is down). It is not good karma. Business Day