Bar Talk: ‘Sodom and Gomorrah’ at our door step

Dananai Chipunza. . . former Miss Carnival Queen. . .another leak. . .  what a shame if it is true

Dananai Chipunza. . . former Miss Carnival Queen. . .another leak. . . what a shame if it is true

Bra Gee
BRA Gee has this week been thrown into a mode of revisiting some coinages by some of our elders of yonder, who were sages both in wisdom, hoary hairs and beards as well as masters of how the “reed mat” needs to be harnessed for the proper reasons and not the other wild way.

Although cases of some of ours who strayed were prevalent back then, as they came up with some deterrent and wisdom-laden catch-phrases which are still applicable to the modern-day setup, that is if we are keen to put them into effect.

After all, the Biblical advice that is there for us all for the taking, is also as age-old as the mores that our predecessors who – had they been of Egyptian origins – would have been mummified or preserved in some sarcophagi where they will be resting pretty sure that their offspring are living a pristine life devoid of deception, treachery and the wife of Lot turning to the city of Sodom and Gomorrah which was inundated by fire and brimstone owing to the wayward ways of its coital whims.

Talking of Lot’s wife, whose name was Edith or Ado (no direct harm to whoever bears similar names to her), modern versions of her are being reincarnated right here on our doorstep – yes, yours and mine including here where I am enjoying my warm lager owing to the power outage that we constantly experience .

While in the ages of yonder we used to have the drum-beat as one of the mediums of communication, which we could not abuse to the extent of summoning my lover from the other side of the mountain in order for us to meet at our usual love nest, this time around we have this monster, that is a good version of Beauty and the Beast in the sense that it has both good and ugly sides to it.

Who am I

I am very beautiful and it is a fact that during my tenure on your watchbox (If I must say) I have mesmerised everyone not only with my velvet voice but my enchanting looks that in a way allegedly stole the heart of many. Surprisingly many think I have used the bedroom curriculum vitae to get that job of which it is none of your business.

Too bad my fans still want me to beautify their watchbox. I am disappointed with some who have started attacking me on social media. Only God can judge me not you.

I have later resorted to the drum at the top of the mountain – sorry -facebook – to clear myself of the alleged rumours that I have slept with CEO at the so-called . . . I shall not mention the corporation?

But just know I am a survivor, I will work harder for what I am born for.

Another nudity scam

While Bra Gee was used to and is still used to our traditional dressing, (and I don’t want to dredge up the issue of the Fichani twins who walked stark naked save for the mhapa or shashiko that they were putting on), nudity in the modern context seems to be taking centre-stage and Zimbabweans are not leaving a stone unturned in terms of matching up with the Western-world where the thing is the in-thing.

Nudity? Yet another model has become the latest in the bandwagon of throwing the curtains apart for us who are aboard (sorry, in the club) to savour her assets.

Former Miss Carnival Dananai Chipunza is said to have nudes pictures of which it’s no longer news in the model fraternity because it has become trendy.

Chipunza is close friends to Former Miss Zimbabwe Thabiso Phiri, who also had a share of her nudity to the world, and they must be comforting each other now.

What has gone wrong with these girls? I have noticed these girls of nowaday’s fear to have their nude pics exposed after breakups while boys fear of the exposed chats asking for the cookie jar.

Besides who doesn’t want one.

A good spanking, had I been the model’s father, would have done her good.

Beatings of the intelligent balls

So of late a lot of my friends (men) are being beaten at home. Those claiming to be intelligent, tall, muscular and talkative have been identified as victims of abuse with their wives at home. Yes, a case study has revealed that a lot of men are being abused and recently at Mai Chisamba show it was topical. During the show some men opened up that women them beat up because of friends and coming home late.

Let me take a sip. Is that so? However, since these cry babies men are shy to call the hotline( going and report the case to the police). Rumour says that there is a new organisation for men that has been formed just like Victim Friendly where those abused can report.

Let us fight for our rights.

In case, don’t just boast around at the bar, delaying to get some of our sex tips yet alone you are not going to use them but try the defence lessons for the better.

I am sure love conquers all. A table has turned but remember it has got corners or edges, make sure you hold onto that.

Last call

Real man don’t cry. . . try shielding those tears in public otherwise we doubt your gong you shine around with.

Till next week bottoms up!

  • facebook: Bra Gee, email- brageesbar@gmail.com, Twitter: @brageesbar